The Arena

It was a long day.  A hard day.  Like your shift partner and yourself wanted to call in sick 5 minutes into the shift hard day.  We could see it was going to be a repeat of an incident the week prior.  Sucks the energy out of your body and you just want to say "nope" but you have 11 hours and 55 minutes left.  You can do everything right, handle everything calmly and rationally, smile and breathe and still be disrespected and dismissed.  There isn't anyone under the sun that likes to be made to feel that they are not doing their job correctly or be questioned about their decisions or asked, "what is your name?" when someone clearly does not agree with you or like what you are saying.  I must admit I bit my tongue so hard many times I swear blood was gushing out from my mouth.  It would have been so easy to speak harshly.  Too easy for me actually.  I am a work in progress.  I am trying very hard and understand it is two steps forward and one step back, but today was a success.  I moved two steps forward and then something very insignificant happened and then I moved a step back.  

I am not responsible for how someone else is going to react to what I do or say, but I AM responsible for what I say and what I do (regardless of how someone else treats me).  You cannot say, "I did x because they..."  Nope.  So, I say this for me, but for you the reader too, that You and you alone are responsible for how you respond to someone mistreating you.  Kill them with kindness is much harder done than said. Remaining calm and regulated is hard to do, especially if you find yourself in a situation where multiple people are caught up in the situation and they are feeding off of one another.  It only takes one person to mishear, interpret incorrectly, or just plain want what they want and could care of less of the reason(s) why to have a recipe for disaster.  They could be having a hard day too.  They could have been given bad news.  They could have been hit with a bill they were not expecting.  They could have a million reasons why they are being difficult, including just plain being a genuine jerk with a capital "J".  So keep doing what you are doing knowing it is not about you, but them.  And smile.  Breathe deeply and slowly.  Stay calm.  Repeat. And when you finally get home take a long, hot shower and let the water wash over you down your back relaxing those tensed muscles and letting all the yuck of the day wash off of you and down the drain.  Tomorrow is another (new) day. 

A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted. - Proverbs 12:16
keep your tongue from speaking evil (and your lips from telling lies!) - Psalm 34:13
Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city. - Proverbs 16:32